The legend of the ‘one drink’. You get lured out of the office to meet for an innocent glass of red to unwind. You think you’re being sensible because you drive to your rendezvous so that way you will definitely take it easy and leave early. But we both know you ain’t driving, you will most definitely be drinking and there may be a walk of shame ahead.
After the smooth red cascades down your gullet, your reason goes out the window. Just like the saying goes, ‘the heart has it’s reasons, which reason knows nothing of’ right now your heart is yearning for tequila. Logic has most certainly exited the building. Bring on the debauchery!
And so counting back the hours begins, you know the whole, ‘If I have to wake up at 7am then I’ll leave here at 3am and that will give me five hours sleep and that’s almost the same as a regular late night.’ But soon it gets to 4.30am and then it seems a much better idea to stay up rather than sleep at all because if you sleep you will wake up tired and that’s much, much worse. Oh dear…
The hours are slipping away but you feel good, energetic and confident that work will not be a problem. But there is a feeling of dread in the bottom of your stomach that is sitting there, refusing to go away. And it’s not until you go to the bathroom that you realise how dire this situation is.
While you may feel okay, the bathroom mirror shows otherwise. Your skin has assumed the colour tone of the beginnings of mould. And it’s appropriate because your complexion looks like it has decayed, badly. Your eyes look bloodshot and crazed, as if you’ve discovered a horrible truth, and that horrible truth is looking right at you in the mirror as you realise your hair is a sweaty mess and plastered to your face. Dark circles under your eyes betray your innocent night out and every line on your face seems exaggerated making you look older than you are. This is not good.
If only you worked outdoors and could wear sunglasses, if only you were still 19 when all you needed was an hour of sleep at the most, if only you stuck to that one drink…
So what can you do to disguise the ravaging effects of a 12 hour retox? Enter our beauty expert Jo Mackay, she’s the top makeup artist in Ibiza and owner of JAMFACE. She’s given her top 7 tips to get you looking from a wreck-head to a respectable head.
When you’ve been guzzling the hard stuff your complexion can look like a shrivelled up prune the next day. So slather on the moisturiser to keep your skin looking awake and revitalised. I love Charlotte Tilbury- Charlotte’s Magic Cream. A little pot of luxury that feeds your skin, banishes redness, minimises pores and plumps out those stubborn wrinkles that look liked they’ve multiplied in the last 6 hours.
2: MAKE IT EASY
The last thing you want to be doing or are even capable of doing is attempting your usual full face. These kind of mornings you need quick, multi-use bad boys that are fool proof and fast. My absolute fave is MAC Prep + Prime BB Beauty Balm compact SPF 30. This next generation cream contains softening ingredients which lock in the moisture and restore the skin’s natural luminosity. It’s your moisturiser, primer and foundation all in one. It even comes with a little sponge, it’s as if they knew you were struggling this morning.
In every sense of the word. Grab your baby wipes (nice and fast) and get rid of any melted mascara and black eyeliner remnants and reach for those light colours. A little swipe of an iridescent gold across the eyelids will do wonders for those peepers. Try Stila’s foil finish eyeshadows in Kitten. Freshen your mascara but keep the lids nice and light and fresh. If you’re someone who can’t do without eyeliner try just defining the outer corners rather than the whole eye. Less is more, or you really will look like your still out.
You’re definitely going to need it today. After midday you will need all the help you can get, so prepping now is vital. I would recommend a little, or a lot, of blush to wake up that grey complexion. Something more pink based as opposed to peach, as pinks reflect a natural flush, which is helps when there might be insufficient blood flow around the body. Same goes for lips, add a bright pop of colour to that pout. A great two in one is MAC cream colour base in Virgin Isle. A bright pink/coral cream formula with a dewy finish for both lips and cheeks. Instantly alive!
5: DRY SHAMPOO
This is an absolute must-have when you don’t have time to wash that mop. A little spray of this through your roots will absorb the grease and help to make your hair smell less like last nights ash tray! I love Oribe Dry Texturizing Spray. Its doesn’t give any white powder residue and adds volume to hair with a hangover.
6: FOR THE MEN
You need just as much help as girls and you don’t have the luxury of makeup (well some might) so follow steps 1 and 5 to start with. A good eye cream is not only your best friend on mornings like these but will also assist you in the long run. A great little helper is Malin + Goetz Rice Bran Eye Moisturiser. This little guy contains rice bran and soya protein which stimulates the blood vessels around the eye area diminishing puffiness and dark circles.
7. EYE DROPS
Another great trick is a bottle of eyedrops. Turn the whites of your eyes from bloodshot or beige back to bright white with one application of Innoxa- Gouttes Bleues. This French brand have created an actual blue liquid which neutralises the yellow/red tones of sore tired eyes. This a godsend if you have either had a big night or just a crappy night of sleep.
So there you have it, expert advice on how to fake it till you make it- to bed that is. No one will suspect a thing unless you tell them, to which they will reply, ‘what is this sourcery?’ Ensure you’re prepped with the right products so that you can prance into work minus the sunglasses and with an attitude that says, ‘bitch, I’m fabulous!’